It's weird being on the other side.
What do you mean?
I'm an ethnology major, so I'm usually the one to ask people questions, conduct interviews, and prepare surveys. I'll be finishing my slightly extended undergraduate studies at Adam Mickiewicz University this year.
What made you choose ethnology?
This seemed to be the most fascinating field as well as the broadest-covering psychology, sociology, anthropology, and history. I found that appealing, and I must say, I wasn't disappointed. Especially since I also had this great Gender Studies class with Prof. Agata Stanisz-right around the time I was performing in the queer play Colourful Dreams in Polski Theatre. I even invited my professor to see it, and she really enjoyed it.
Did you ever consider going to art school?
Not really, I think art schools make you create art in a very academic way, and that's just not my thing. I'm more of a self-taught artist with a unique style of my own that I want to develop. I couldn't make art to fit into someone else's vision.
Do you plan to continue studying ethnology?
I do, with a focus on what I already do outside of school, which is tattooing. My thesis is actually about the tattoo artist profession. This subject is close to my heart but also challenging to pursue given how little literature is available for research-my sources are really sparse. In my thesis, I explore the profession in terms of being an artist, a professional, and a craftsman. But I won't lie-I find studying and writing about my community tricky, especially when it comes to being objective. I have to be on my toes to ensure the thesis is both accurate and well-researched.
When did your first take interest in tattoo art?
Back when I was a child. As you might expect, it began with just drawing, and then for about ten years, making henna tattoos-mostly for friends who'd request a dragon, a cat, or something else. That path eventually led me to permanent body marking. I started attending tattoo conventions, slowly immersing myself in that world. Since the beginning of last year, I've dedicated myself to the profession 100 percent and have finally found a studio in which to practice.
Is it hard to get started in this line of work?
Very. The pandemic made it even harder as a lot of people started buying tattoo machines online and tattooing at home, which, as you can imagine, ruined the market. But even aside from that, getting into the profession is incredibly difficult. You have to be patient, especially in building your client base, since people either have their go-to tattoo artists already or are just shopping around for the cheapest option. And in my case, being queer is also a factor.
How so?
Well, despite appearances, the community of tattoo professionals is quite conservative. It's mostly run by straight cis men, which means women also find it hard to break in. This keeps a lot of LGBTQ+ people in the business closeted. I didn't know how people would react to me being non-binary, and was a bit concerned. At Mucha Studio, where I am now working, the team actually asked me themselves about my preferred pronouns, which was really nice and showed me that things are changing for the better-even in this field. Not just in Poland, but internationally, too. There's even a concept of queer tattooing with its own elaborate symbolism. For example, I hear that moth tattoos are very popular among bisexual people.
Do social media help?
Having a portfolio on social media is a must, so of course, I have one. To be honest, keeping my socials up to date is time-consuming and exhausting-but there's no other way. That's how people find out about my work and reach out as prospective clients. It's frustrating though to get requests to copy complete designs found on Pinterest. In such cases, I try to negotiate and encourage people to check out my work and my style. I'm mostly into colourful, old-school tattoos. I steer clear of some styles, such as realism, although when you first start out, turning people down is really hard. You're eager to jump on any opportunity that comes your way.
Is it difficult for a newcomer to get people to pick you to make their tattoos?
It's not easy, but everyone has to start somewhere-and some people are willing to give you a shot, sometimes mainly because the price is low. But of course, I didn't start on human skin-I practiced on artificial skin first. These days, designing is made a whole lot easier if you use a tablet and that's where all my ideas take shape. I spend hours daily sketching on my tablet. Practice makes perfect, and I can see I am making good progress. As do my clients.
You mentioned that your colleagues at the studio wanted to know if you were queer. Do you keep it hidden?
Not really, but when I first joined the studio, I was being cautious. It was new territory, and I didn't know how they'd react. Plus I badly wanted to work there. But my fears turned out to be unfounded, as they quickly noticed that I identified as they/them on social media. At that point, I felt a huge sense of relief, and we started having more conversations about being queer, which was great. Especially since, as I said, homophobia is alive and well in the tattoo world. It's not the open, colourful, and accepting world that people might think, at least not in Poland.
Were you a born-and-raised Poznań queer?
Yes, I am queer and I was born and raised in Poznań. I've always felt different as far as I can remember. Even as a kid, out on the playground, I'd hear things like, "Why is that girl wearing Spider-Man trousers?" I didn't really understand those questions. I wore those trousers because I liked them. And because I wanted to. But as I got older, I was asked more and more of those questions-especially in my teenage years, when I didn't yet know all the different queer identities and terms. It wasn't until high school-and in fact during university-that I started learning about them and meeting other queer people. That's when I realised that I was non-binary and preferred not to be addressed with feminine, but rather with either masculine pronouns or they/them.
How does your family see it?
My family generally tended to avoid uncomfortable conversations, so my queerness was a taboo of sorts. They only stopped buying me dolls when they realised the dolls' heads would always end up ripped off. That's when I started getting cars and dinosaurs, the kinds of toys I actually wanted to play with. No one at home ever asked me about my identity or what pronouns I preferred.
And what about your clothes?
Every now and then, I'd hear how great I'd look in a skirt, but that never worked on me. But I also kept my hair long, down to my waist, and didn't cut it off until my final year of middle school. The hairdresser was devastated, while I was thrilled. Especially since I donated the hair to the Rak'n'Roll Foundation, a non-profit organisation that supports people with cancer.
Was that an act of rebellion?
Probably a little, but my biggest rebellion came later-when I moved out for university. These days, I only stay in touch with my sister, who is transgender and who has also come out. The reason I moved out wasn't specifically my parents failing to accept my non-binary identity but a general lack of acceptance.
Do you expect your relationship with your family is going to take a turn for the better?
I don't think so. I've tried reconnecting, but it didn't work out.
At first glance, you're an odd one out, a very flamboyant figure. How does that affect your daily life?
It has changed over the years. When I was in school, we were required to wear uniforms, and everyone looked the same. The only place I could truly express myself through colours was at home, and that was just for myself. I actually thought everyone did that-dressing in bright colours, wearing makeup, getting piercings and tattoos.
How do you navigate university as a non-binary person?
I have only come out recently, so the process is still ongoing. I definitely got my big push with Colourful Dreams. The play was generally well received. One of my favourite teachers even shared an approving post about it, proudly mentioning we had an actor performing in Polski Theatre in our midst. That gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. These things matter a great deal. I haven't updated my details in the university system yet, so my record still shows a feminine first name, but on campus, I go by the pronouns he/him. With professors, the transition has been fairly smooth. The only real challenge was with those who had known me since I first enrolled-not because they have an issue with my non-binary identity, but simply because old habits die hard. It's a battle against ingrained patterns.
In short, you confuse people.
I always have-people look at me and try to figure out my gender. I see it all the time at shop checkouts when cashiers hesitate and freeze, unsure whether to call me "sir" or "ma'am". To help them out of their embarrassment, I just go ahead and tell them myself. I call such situations "neutral" as opposed to those rooted in homophobia. Things have gotten even more complicated now that I've started taking testosterone, and my voice deepened. It amazes me how stubbornly people cling to binary language-how they must categorise me as either "sir" or "ma'am." Is it really so hard to use neutral language? It costs nothing, makes things easier, and is incredibly important to us, non-binary people.
Did you take long to embrace your non-binary identity?
It took a while. At first, I thought I might be trans, which turned out not to be the case. Even though I'm taking hormones-which many assume is only for trans people-I am non-binary. Testosterone helps me find the middle-ground, exist in between, where I'm most at ease.
Did you run into any difficulties accessing hormones?
At first, I was afraid I wouldn't get them because I wasn't transitioning fully either way. Fortunately, I was able to. I was diagnosed as non-binary and was given access to hormones. But I know many non-binary people struggle with this as some doctors refuse to prescribe microdoses, believing that you should either fully transition one way or the other, rather than stopping short somewhere in between.
Will this cause problems with your official documents?
Sadly, that remains a concern. In Poland, you can only be legally recognised as either male or female. In that sense, trans people have it easier because their change fits into the binary system. But what about non-binary people? The only thing I can do is change my official first name to a gender-neutral one, which is the name I already use. Atlas is both a boys' and a girls' name, so that works in my favour.
Did appearing in Colourful Dreams advance your emancipation?
Absolutely. We were working on the play at the exact time I began to celebrate my queerness, explore my identity, and use my new name. That was also when I left my parents' house and started living on my own. It was undeniably the start of a new chapter in my life-and one in a city that is growing more colourful. And not just in dreams, but in real life.